Life: Idiotropic

My check engine light was on, so Kirk made me take my van in to the dealer. He met me there and the guys came out to check the engine. They ran a few tests and then lifted the hood. The insulation in the hood was shredded in several places. The engine and all the parts inside were very dirty and sticky. And... three little wires inside were completely severed.

Our question immediately was, "what could have done this?" The response: Marder. Kirk didn't know that German word. We looked puzzled. Then the man described it as an animal and eventually led us to this sign that they had in the window at the dealership.

A marder is a meter long weasel-like animal that lives here. When the cables and wires in a car are warm from the motor, they give off a smell that is similar to the female pheremone, so it attracts the males. The males climb up into the engine area, spray and chew up things. Then the females smell the male's spray and come and go a bit crazy (the guy at the dealership actually made a face, shook his head, and made a noise like a rabid sex-crazed marder, but I can't do that here... just imagine it... it was quite funny). So, a marder had a party in my van.

Apparently it is a big problem here. Half of all engine problems in this area are caused by marders. Many people have had to replace their entire engines. We got lucky with a quick and inexpensive repair. So what to do? Our first thought: mouse traps. Not a possibility. Marders are protected by German law. It is illegal to kill them. You can trap them, but locals have told us that they have a remarkable sense of territory and have been trapped and carried away only to return to the same area. The only thing you can do is to spray this sticky stuff on the engine. Kirk did that. He scrubbed the engine and all around it, cleaned it all well, then sprayed it with this sticky gunk. A couple days later we looked inside and saw a nice line of fur stuck to one of the parts below the engine. I'm hoping that the critter smelled the stuff and left. Either way, we'll be keeping an eye on that the rest of our time here.

Our neighbor said she had one living in her attic for a while and she's seen them in the field next door. They are harmless to people and actually, aside for their engine fetish, are quite good because they kill and eat mice. Articles in the paper have said that this season is a particularly bad one with a high population of marder. Another friend said that after smelling a rather foul smell, found the remnants of a rabbit under her hood - how sweet! It brought her a present! Doesn't it make you want to take one home for a pet?