Wednesday, August 25, 2010
27.
Probably the number of chocolate chip cookies batches we baked in the 4th grade
Or the number or crushes we discussed... in high school.
Or the number of emails we'd write in just one week of college... just about the weather.
Or the number of places we've shared a coffee... times 4... at least.
It's the number of years we've been friends...
This morning I checked my email. As routine as brushing my teeth or pouring a cup of coffee... and then I saw the sender. What should be an unsuspecting email. Just a regular update from Caring Bridge. Usually I eagerly click on it to see what news Jessie is sharing now. This morning I saw the link and paused. It felt different and I didn't want to see it. I don't understand how a deep breath can give us strength, but somehow that pause helps when you're facing something scary... like clicking on a link... and reading words you don't want to hear.
I was hoping we had "weeks, months" to banter back and forth. Just a little more time.
I don't know how Andy had the peace to write so eloquently exactly what Jessie would have said. To comfort her friends so well in a time when he must be feeling so much pain. Jessie's strength is still shining through, even now that she's passed. "Peacefully in her sleep."
But he reminded us to see what she both sought and found in her life lived so well, "beauty in the everyday; everyday has beauty." So today, in honor of a friend that will continue to live in my heart and memories, I found beauty in my favorite beach. I listened to the song of the waves, dug my toes into the sand, and found some stones for her garden.
Not gone. Never forgotten. She's living in the hearts and memories of an army of friends and family who love her and have learned infinite lessons watching her live life with such strength, grace, and humor.
As Jessie would say, beauty in the everyday; everyday has beauty.
Let's go find it.
Probably the number of chocolate chip cookies batches we baked in the 4th grade
Or the number or crushes we discussed... in high school.
Or the number of emails we'd write in just one week of college... just about the weather.
Or the number of places we've shared a coffee... times 4... at least.
It's the number of years we've been friends...
This morning I checked my email. As routine as brushing my teeth or pouring a cup of coffee... and then I saw the sender. What should be an unsuspecting email. Just a regular update from Caring Bridge. Usually I eagerly click on it to see what news Jessie is sharing now. This morning I saw the link and paused. It felt different and I didn't want to see it. I don't understand how a deep breath can give us strength, but somehow that pause helps when you're facing something scary... like clicking on a link... and reading words you don't want to hear.
I was hoping we had "weeks, months" to banter back and forth. Just a little more time.
I don't know how Andy had the peace to write so eloquently exactly what Jessie would have said. To comfort her friends so well in a time when he must be feeling so much pain. Jessie's strength is still shining through, even now that she's passed. "Peacefully in her sleep."
But he reminded us to see what she both sought and found in her life lived so well, "beauty in the everyday; everyday has beauty." So today, in honor of a friend that will continue to live in my heart and memories, I found beauty in my favorite beach. I listened to the song of the waves, dug my toes into the sand, and found some stones for her garden.
Not gone. Never forgotten. She's living in the hearts and memories of an army of friends and family who love her and have learned infinite lessons watching her live life with such strength, grace, and humor.
As Jessie would say, beauty in the everyday; everyday has beauty.
Let's go find it.
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Life in Spain
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3 comments:
So very, very sorry for the loss of your friend. I hope all the memories will help sustain you through your grief...
Kim Mitchell
Sittard
Tiffany,
I am so very, very sorry. I'm so glad you got to see her one last time.
Tiffany, I'm so sorry to hear it! And not even a week since you're touching poem/ memoir! I'll be keeping you and your friend's family in my prayers during this difficult time.