Life: Idiotropic

Phantasialand is a big amusement park that Tiara's been wanting to go to since, well, the first day she heard about it probably about 2 years ago if not earlier. So, today (finally), I got made good on an old promise and we spent the day there together.

It was kind of a birthday thing. And she wanted a friend along but I wasn't going to pay for a gazillion friends to go and if she invited one, then others would be upset/mad/jealous that they weren't invited (8th grade girls are sooo challenging), so she was smart and invited Tyler, a friend of hers and the son of one of my close friends. He's nice. He's not obnoxious like most boys his age. So they could just have fun without any of the teen weirdness.

Phantasialand was fun. We managed to get 11 (Tiara did 12) rides in 9 hours with a lunch break and some getting lost included, so that's not bad.

I had fun and felt kinda like part of the gang instead of the boring adult chaperon, after all, I was the one who wanted to go on the "scary" black Mamba when both Tiara and Tyler were too scared to go.

But, as young as I'd like to be, I learned that

1) A full day of amusement park fun is quite exhausting. At one point I really just wanted to sit and relax a bit - just long enough for them to stand in one line and go on one ride... but did they let me, no. I ended up standing in line watching Tiara do the flipping stomach rocking ride that both Tyler and I agreed was nauseating enough to watch let alone be strapped into. Tiara is now better known as Queen of the Iron Stomachs (my former amusement park title, sadly taken away when I reached the ripe ol' age of 30 and lost the stomach for Disneyland tea cup style rides).

2) Standing in line is a lot more fun when you're 13 and even more fun when you're 13 and standing in a large group of your peers. Standing in line with two shy teens almost a third my age trying to make conversation is, well, kinda boring. Not that they were boring. Tyler chose to keep conversation from lagging by counting Tiara's "blond moments" (she got to 21 by the way - and he got to 7) and bugging me about the French. I like everything French/France and he doesn't. But what does a 13 year old know?

3) Making out in line is frankly, disgusting. Yuck. Gross. Eeeew. In one particular line we were behind one disgusting couple who needed a small hotel room and may be some mouthwash. Happily, the line split and we went a different way just to get stuck behind an even more disgusting couple. Eeew, ick, gross. And it's really hard to avoid when you're crammed together in really tight lines without personal space.

4) Amusement park food almost always looks better than it tastes. We unanimously voted for Chinese food (what were we thinking? Amusement park Chinese in Germany!) thinking that we would have some choice in the matter. Tiara wanted rice. I think we had all though that rice with some meat/veggie thing would be good. Nope. Chinese meant really greasy egg rolls or noodles. We got noodles. Filling, but flavorless.

But, we had a great time and we got to do a lot of spinny upside down roller coaster rides that made Tiara and I scream and Tyler, who is a boy and therefore cannot scream lest his boy-card be taken away, moan. After 9 hours of that we were all (yes, even the kids) ready to go home.

That happy-go-lucky era of the milkman is not dead. It just moved to Germany where your milk man, butcher, and baker all deliver. We have BoFrost too which is a lot like Schwans. And yes, I am serious, the butcher delivers to your door if you'd like. Twice a week I'll hear a very loud cling-a-lingggggg and sure enough, out my window is the meat truck swinging open it's large side door across the street, slicing deli meats in 100 gram portions and portioning out fresh pork roasts and steaks to my neighbors. Talk about fresh. It was probably walking yesterday.

The photos above are of my bus stop, a frequent convenience stop for weary travelers in need of a toilet, and, in this case, food. This truck is one of those mixed trucks with a bit of everything and fresh eggs too which are also delivered here. I am not sure how this trailer flagged him down, but they both pulled over. The trailer driver got out with his wallet ready, the trucks side door flipped up, and the transaction when quickly. By the time the hungry shopper was back in his seat, the door was down and the food truck was on its way again.

Wish I would have gotten Arianna's face in this one... would have been a good photo... oh well... traditions are nice, comforting... and when the weather allows, we treat ourselves to a coffee and slice of cake at a wonderful cafe in Immendorf each Sunday after church. There's a lake with turtles that keep the kids happy, horses they pick grass and feed, and a playground. Top that off with 60 cent cones of delicious home made ice cream and you have yourself a perfect afternoon where the kids will play happily for hours while the adults sit back on the patio with delicious latte macchiatos and thick slices of mouthwatering German cake. Today was no exception. There was a free meal after church, but even after that, we needed the peace and quiet of our Immendorf retreat. A macchiato later, we were all relaxed. And, even in their pretty taffeta dresses, the kids still managed to climb the tree house ladder, swing on the swings, and build castles in the sandbox.

This afternoon, once the most forboding clouds gave way to spots of blue thus raising our hopes of a somewhat dry afternoon, we hopped in the van and made our way to Maastricht for a day of shopping and playing tourist. A perfect day to enjoy the July sales and walk the historic streets, we saw our share of strange today. Here's a photo montage of the fun...

A few days ago I asked Tiara what she wanted to do on her birthday. My motherly mind was thinking of something along the lines of a nice lunch out and a shopping trip to one of the nicer cities near us like Aachen or Maastricht. May be a water park with a friend... something that we don't do every day.

Her now teen mind had other ideas. "Sleep in and play with Rudy."

No, Rudy is not the hunky boy down the street. Rudy is a dog. A beautiful, well-behaved Golden Retriever to be exact (much better than a hunky boy any day of the week, I think). And, he is temporarily living in our village before he moves to Texas with his family.

So, Tiara got her wish. She slept in until 11 and had her favorite tomato cheese bread from Immendorf and a berry smoothy for breakfast. We all went to Il Genio's for a birthday lunch and then she went over to Rudy's house to play for a couple hours before coming home for her choice of dinner: chicken bulgoki ala Kirk. Berry yogurt cake from Immendorf for dessert... presents... and the day was over.

She's probably right with her choices. She's shopping now (alone) with her grandma and in a couple weeks I'll take her shopping (again, alone). So, she had a relaxing birthday without the stress of a big shopping trip with the little sisters. Smart girl at thirteen, I think.

(Drizzle? Well... a few months ago, Tiara was practicing her French in the back seat and I heard her say drizzle. What??? Drizzle. What does that mean? 13. Really? Yeah. Drizzle? No, drizzle. I wasn't hearing the difference between my drizzle and her drizzle until she slowed it down - a lot. And then it was the French word for 13 which I would type here now, but I don't know how to spell it - sounds something like tray - zah. Tiara doesn't say drizzle anymore when she speaks French, but I still like to hassle her - especially now that she's officially - drizzle.)

Today we went to a huge indoor water park where Arianna and Luci discovered the joy of the water slide and Tiara and her friend did the same - just the big version. Elise' favorite was the lazy river floating on a gigantic inner tube. Luci and Arianna loved that too. The food was good. The place was nice. But, oh, after 4 hours of that I wanted to lock myself up in a thick walled box of silence for a year. The continually high volume of noise drove me crazy.

One silly thing happened as I was standing above the lazy river looking down for Tiara and Jenna to take their picture. A couple of German kids saw me with the camera and asked me to take their picture too! So, I pointed the camera and they smiled and posed! Here they are.

Wit is lost to me at the moment. Just not mentally there, but I do want to show off my little beauties and let you know that under no circumstances are you ever to get stuck with me in a labyrinth unless you have a months supply of food and water and probably a good hefty roll of toilet paper. Really, for someone who thinks that they are somewhat intelligent, I am pathetic when it comes to steering my way out of underpruned hedges. I think this is going to give me nightmares... Little Shop of Horrors becomes The Hedge Unleashed.

And it all started out peacefully... church, a nice drive through the rolling hills of South Limburg on a sunny day (Sun, here in Germany? where did it go? Haven't seen it since Sunday.) We taxied, 15 people in three vehicles, over hill and dale and around countless beautiful old half-timbered farmhouses and arrived at a lovely 300 year old mill, home of a wonderful pannekoeken restaurant where the adults could sit and eat peacefully while the kids played at the playground. Ahh... peace and a gyro pannekoeken. Couldn't ask for more.

From there we road tested the intelligence of my Garmin pitted against the TomTom of a friend to get to Drilanderpunt in Vaals. My Garmin was the clear superior with a much better, much more efficient route, but I didn't complain. TomTom took us down tinier than one way roads that were quite picturesque and no one got carsick on the turns.

We've been to Drilanderpunt before - the mysterious Dutch hill where Germany, Belgium, and The Netherlands all join. The picture above it is us - in three countries. Pretty fun.

So we went up the tower. Elise, Luci, and I in the elevator. Arianna, Tiara, and my mom up the stairs that wind around up the outside of the tower. Arianna, about halfway up remembered that she is terrified of heights, but my mom, wearing a skirt on a windy day walking up mesh stairs, wasn't going to go back down that way, so Arianna was stuck and eventually made it. Tiara - lost her flip flop.

I was at the top looking for the other half of my family when people told me that Tiara had lost a shoe. So she comes up embarrased because everyone was staring at her feet and even Dutch people had tried to tell her, in Dutch, that she was clearly missing a shoe.

So I asked the not so obvious question: "So where's your shoe now?"

"I don't know," she replied, "I think it's either in Belgium or Germany." That's something you just can't say every day.

She did get it back when we got down so she could run through the maze with two shoes.

The maze. Ugh. Took an hour an a half and that was with help finally from someone in the tower who watched us and shouted directions as we walked along, my mother with her purse in the air so he could see where we were, and me running my fingers along the hedge to make sure I kept to the right one. Clearly not a proud moment. Tiara and Tyler, who got tired of us pretty quickly, took off on their own and made it out a full half hour ahead of us. And we had a map!

Tiara with Tyler on the bridge that we couldn't find that leads to the exit of the maze... missing shoe... Luci in front of Belgium... Elise in front of Germany...

Just so you know (because though I suspected, I didn't really know), this is what a broken nose looks like. Imagine this just a little darker - a little more intense. I think the camera bleaches it out a bit. She didn't get two black eyes like the doctor had predicted. Just one. And she announced that if she still looked like this when school starts, that she's NOT going. Good thing she has a month to go. Her nose looks better now, but is still yellow and slightly purple.

What to do? Well, it's healing straight on its own, so we will watch it and in the future, if it is crooked, then they'll rebreak it and set it properly. Dr. Huhn said that there was no need to do anything about it at this age.

Today we attended our third 4th celebration that wasn't celebrated on the 4th.

Pretty much the same as every year... there were rides and food, music and bird shows, informational booths highlighting organizations here, photo ops, bingo, and games.

The girls took off with Kirk right away and did all the rides while my mom and I walked around talking to people. There was one of those insanely fast rides that goes around in a circle with loud music and flashing lights over a hilly floor. The little girls loved it - even Elise. Tiara and I both got slightly nauseas.

So, our day in a nutshell:

• Tiara spent her day alternating between friends and me. Wanting to be with friends, but not wanting to be a third wheel between friend with boyfriend. She did go on that really spinny ride once with a really cute high school boy at insistence of a friend of mine. Not worried. Tiara's so shy with boys, she won't even talk to them. I don't mind if she hangs out with us though. I'm starting to miss her. She spends so much time either with friends or talking with friends that especially with her demanding sisters, we don't get much time just for us.

• Arianna ran all over playing with friends and riding rides. Although this is an open event, it's held at a base and we know the majority of the people there, so it almost feels like a private party and very safe. She had some freedom to run and liked that. The boy with her is David - a boy who was in her school class and lives just behind us. They are so much alike that they've spent the last year either completely in love or absolutely NOT liking each other one bit.

• Luci was eating her dinner with the rest of us sitting on a picnic bench talking to friends when one asked what happened to her nose that was now swollen and purple from yesterday's fall. "It's broken," she said. So, long story short, I saved myself a trip to the clinic by taking her to our regular doctor who happened to be volunteering for the event at the med tent. Yep, broken. And she has a case of ringworm. Poor kid. But a broken nose hasn't slowed her down one bit. I had to stop her from jumping on the wet bouncy castle with ten other rowdy kids. She didn't like that. At least the spinny ride was relatively safe and she got to go rock shopping with her dad and get a really pretty rose quartz egg. Luci also memorized the location of the med tent and ran there several times to get an ice and water filled latex glove to ice her nose. She didn't really care about the glove, but was pretty happy just sitting with Dr. Huhn. She calls him Dr. Toad (his name is Todd) and I think she kind of has a crush on him.
  

• Elise thinks she's Tiara or thinks she should have the same freedoms. She saw a friend from school and took off running. Was across the field in a split second with me running awkwardly after her. Silly thing. But she had a great time playing too.

• It showered tremendously at one point soaking everyone and forcing all the crowds under one tiny tent where we screamed conversations over the music, but cleared in time for the fireworks display that was so so almost average, but kinda below - a display that was a nice gesture, but ended without pizazz - not one stanza of patriotic music, not one march. So when it was over the entire crowd assembled there in the dark sat, quietly, for about 40 seconds whispering "is it over?" before gathering up their chairs and leaving.

Today we had a plan. Go swimming, run errands, clean, decorate, and have a party.

The cold and windy weather made swimming with three little girls impossible. My completely dead, not even the least bit rechargeable car battery killed the possibility of running errands.

So, I called a friend to pick up a few things and I spent the day preparing for Arianna's first ever slumber party sleepover birthday.

All in all, the day was fairly uneventful. The girls played and I puttered around the house. One bit of excitement occurred when I heard a blood curdling scream from Luci. She had three Barbies in a shoe box lid scooting them around quickly on our 101 year old entry way tile when the box lid slipped and her face came down. Other than a few droplets of blood, she looked fine. So, we iced it and she ran off to play 30 minutes later.

6pm - Three hyper ready to party 7 year old girls came bouncing into my house met by the hysterical screams of an excited Arianna. They played, they dressed up and danced. They ate and became over sugared. We did hand print stepping stones and I gave them disposable cameras to photograph each other with. They fell asleep around 1230. One woke up afraid of spiders, so I slept on the couch near the girls. At 0530, all four 7 year-old girls were up, playing, laughing, and asking for breakfast. At 0730 I finally gave in and had the girls all mixing in their own additions to their little bowls of pancake batter. At 10 they were gone and I pretty much collapsed.

Lessons learned: Arianna is NOT Tiara. Duh. Yeah, um, I knew that... BUT. Sometimes I plan things based on past experience. Makes sense? And, with parenting things my past experience is Tiara who, as a seven year old, made my life unrealistically easy. So tonight, I had an amazing, activity filled, Movie Star party planned with a red carpet, fun decorations, crafts, and more. The kids had a great time... but they also are so high energy that they spent most of their time running, laughing, yelling, and playing and we didn't do the planned activities as much. Worked, but just not the same. They were loud. They were kinda scary. I didn't want to sit and chat. With Tiara, I hung out more. With these guys, I hung back and talked with Tiara. She was scared too. Did I mention they were loud? Wow. Volume 10.

Today was Arianna's 7th birthday.

I had a going away function for a friend in Sittard this morning, but Arianna came with me and played with the other kids while the adults sat around with our coffee and bagels.

When that was over we went to the market - the first time she and I had ever gone to the market alone and she loved it! We bought cherries and roses, shopped for party gifts for her friends and looked at ribbons and buttons. She kept telling me how much she loved to shop with me - without her sisters along. I think all the girls think that.

Home for relaxation, a movie...

Then her choice for dinner: Steak and mashed potatoes with gravy. Salad (not her choice). And molten chocolate cakes for dessert. Not bad.

Tomorrow she's having her first ever slumber party here at the house - a movie star party with three of her friends. We'll have the red carpet, the walk of fame, and the girls will each have an autograph book and disposable camera to shoot photos with. Should be fun and really silly.

More info then.

T

Amidst catching up on all sorts of random things, I am trying to not bore my kids, so am making an effort to do something kinda fun each day. Here is yesterday and today.

Yesterday's fun:

Water is magic. I filled a teensie weensie baby pool with water and my three not-so-little girls all crammed themselves in and started a big water fight. Simple and fun. Then they hung upside down to dry in the sun. When we moved here two + years ago my girls were a lot smaller. Amazing how the time has flown.

Today's fun:

Met a friend for a snack at Haus Hammacher - a fairly good restaurant in Gangelt surrounded by fun things to do. The girls had chocolate ice cream in cute clown cups with cones on top like hats. Then we all piled into a little rowboat. I boated as a kid. I used to go to the lake with my dad all the time and paddle around by myself in a little inflatable kayak. Well, I sat down and grabbed the oars and was the most embarrassing uncoordinated site I think I've ever seen. The boat spun in circles and I couldn't get anywhere. Sat facing the wrong direction too. Kristi laughed at me. I think I was 13 shades of pink. So, she took over and got us to the end of the lake and back allowing all three girls to take turns rowing. Sadly, each of my little girls showed more inclination towards boating than I. Post boating we went mini-golfing there at the lamest mini-golf course ever. No grass. Ugly cement slabs for each hole. Very little creativity. No water. No moving objects. Very sad. But, I only paid 5 Euros for all 5 of us and there was no one else there, so we could skip around and redo holes. Sadly, the little ones had never mini-golfed before, so all three kept trying to pick up the ball and move it. They all hit it a gazillion times. It was humorous. But... that outing wore us out. Just across the parking lot is the most amazing pool area ever. So, that is Friday's plan. Should be fun!

Rest. Quiet.

As if by magic, almost all the German flags and lined the streets flying out of every window of both house and car have disappeared. They are gone without a trace. As if there were none there yesterday when the air was filled with Euro Cup preparations. Just yesterday it was all over the radio, internet, and television. German companies would close early. Production lines would actually stop for the game costing the companies money - but this was the Euro Cup and it was worth it. All the Germans would be watching. And if they'd won, we would have heard the honking all night. The flags would still fly.

But Spain won. And today was silent. No talk. No flags. Just silence. As if it had never happened. As if there wasn't a Euro cup just a few hours before.

ganz ruhig

Exhilaration! I just got back from an evening at the home of a Spanish friend watching the Euro Cup final with the Spanish - an intense game between Spain and Germany! Only one goal was scored, but that's all Spain needed. They were continually making tries for the goal and kept the ball on that half most of the game. Amazing.

Noemi made tapas. I made brownies. We had soda and beer. Shouted and cheered... "venga, venga!" "Ole" Waved our arms and wished the kickers luck. Jumped. All our hearts beat faster. Beatriz kept screaming. We were all nervous.

And the seconds ticked down. Tension grew. And Spain won. Screaming, jumping, hugging...

And then the discussion. Half the group wanted to take the Spanish flag and go to the square and shout and beep the horns and wave the flag - what they would do in Spain and what the Germans would have done if they'd won. But we live here. This is Germany. And the other half were nervous and felt it would provoke the Germans and cause trouble. So we celebrated briefly in. Drank Spanish Cava.

Kirk and I drove home. His horn blaring for Spain all the way. The streets were silent, nearly abandoned. His horn blared alone. We saw no flags. No one celebrated. I think the Germans were in shock.

So the season is over and I won't hear the horns until the next big soccer season. It would have been fun to see the celebration here in Germany - we do live here and it's fun to be a part of that culture. But I am so happy that Spain won. It was the first major win in 44 years and they certainly worked hard for it. Go Spain!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080629/ap_on_sp_so_ga_su/soc_euro2008_final

Today was two-fold.

First, I took the girls on a walk up to the top of a coal refuse pile. Sounds exciting, huh? Actually, it was pretty cool. This entire region gained importance due to the coal mining that existed here. Now the evidence lies in man made hills created from the coal refuse. This park, the Carl Alexander Park, just opened a couple weeks ago. A long green area lies along one side of the hill with playground equipment that kept the kids busy for a long time and walking/biking paths winding around and up the "mountain." There's an unusually large modern bright red building standing out like a sore thumb right in the middle of it all - strange for the natural beauty around it to see this obvious obtrusion to the scene. But, through it, there's a staircase that leads to a series of metal ramps that take you up until you hit the mountain and can climb the stairs. I didn't realize that Arianna had a fear of heights, but she was terrified by the ramp with nothing below it. Elise was mocking, "I'm not scared, Aria." Poor Aria clutched my hand all the way until we reached the stairs, but she made it!

The view - beautiful! Even Arianna decided that it was worth it. The metal stairs led to the flat top of the hill and a narrow cement pathway that led safely to a large observation platform on the other end. On either side of the path and platform were black flaky rocks - some in clear layers, some shiny and round, and others with fossil impressions of leaves. I enjoyed the view. The girls picked through the rocks. All three asked if we could go again - especially Elise. She loved it!

Sometimes it takes good bye to realize how special people are. Sad. I've known how special these people are and I've cherished the Fridays that we've spent together these 2 1/2 years, but now that they're leaving, I am recalling just how much we've learned from each other and just how much fun we've had. I taught them how to carve pumpkins for Halloween and cooked them their first Thanksgiving dinner. They taught me how to make tortilla espanola and fed me paella. We shared our languages, our cultures, jokes... It's been a wonderful time. We've developed a special friendship. And I am so thankful that they were part of my life here. I will miss my Spanish mornings with Maria and Joana.

Tonight we met at Hotel Jabusch in Geilenkirchen to sit, talk, and say our goodbyes. Noemi and I got them Italian charm bracelets with the German, Spanish, and US flags on them. We all cried - more than any of us thought we would. The kids, as if they knew this time was especially dear, ran off and played in the nearby garden happily and didn't disturb us at all. This is the last photo taken before we disbursed. Maria is in the blue jeans. Joana is next to her with the purse. Noemi is in black holding Sonia's baby. I just met Sonia tonight. She's at the end with the little boy. Carmen is next to me in brown. I'm the one that is obviously not Spanish - the one with the pasty white legs.

We were about to leave, but the girls were hungry and they were setting up the big screen televisions outside where we'd been sitting, so after all the Spanish left, the girls and I sat down and ate dinner there outside on the patio watching the Spain/Russia game of the World Cup Finals. The long tables filled up quickly. A temporary bar was set up off to the side. Two large trees provided shade as if we actually had a patio cover over us. Large white lights made it feel festive and summery.

Luci saw an old man sitting on a bench a few feet away playing the harmonica. Luci is both inquisitive and fearless, but even more, can find beauty in people that most would dismiss. I watched her carefully, but allowed her to go and listen. She smiled at him and he played a more spirited tune. It seemed he enjoyed the audience and Luci was happy to give it. When he finished and began to roll a cigarette, I made her return. He was babbling a bit and adults in the area were treating him as if he were a bit crazy, so I'll ere on the safe side. Luci is a gem though. I love that she can see that beauty and has the self assurance to express her appreciation of people that others dismiss.

The game began. There were Germans at the table with us, Russians at the table next to us, and a huge group of German youth wrapped up in Spanish flags at the table down a few. People fill in and sit where there are seats. Personal space is not the same. It's nice, really. One Russian man was trying to teach Russian words to the older German lady sitting next to him and she was trying to say them. It was an eclectic mix and fun to see. It absolutely down poured during the game in Vienna and the camera kept panning to the sky to catch the frequent lightening bolts lighting it up. Players slipped and slid everywhere falling into each other. And... SPAIN WON! 3-0. I'm happy! Now Spain will play Germany in for the World Cup title on Sunday!

If you don't want to read the rantings of the quasi insane or the extreme overuse of the pronoun "I," then stop here. Don't read any further. It is just venting. Mindless frustration in orthographical form. I try to keep my delirium from this blog, but I need to vent.

Today was Elise's definitively last day of German school - ever. And Laurim's birthday party. Two German experiences neatly packaged into one day.

I made cupcakes last night, wrapped some nice gifts for the classroom, and had goodie bags with notes ready to pass out to all the children.

Elise was excited to hand out the gifts, but cried when I left. Good. I needed her to cry to remind me that I was making the right decision about ending our German school experience.

When I dropped her off, Dave's mom (who's always been very nice, but speaks minimal English - really) asked me if it was Elise' last day and looked genuinely sad when I told her that Elise wouldn't be returning. She'd hoped that Elise and Dave would start school together in two years. She told me that I really must stop at her home and have coffee with her. That's the first invitation I've ever received from a mom to be social. I reciprocated the offer and I will follow up. She, I think, honestly cares.

Then there's the others.

This year has been hard. Really hard. Hard on Elise. Hard on me. I went into that school from day one speaking German. Now, it's bad German - horribly infantile German, but it's German. I haven't expected them to speak English and I've muddled through. After all, I am in their country and I need to try. Parents spoke German to me. Teachers spoke German to me. I kind of assumed (wrongly so) that they didn't speak English. And that's ok. I was ok with that. When I couldn't express myself because the language impaired me, I didn't switch to English, I just let it go. It was obvious that there was a break in conversation. They heard the sigh of frustration and the "never mind." I walked away so many times frustrated and defeated just because I lacked the words to say what I needed to say. But, I kept trying. I kept speaking. Day after day we went. They'd send notes home and I'd read them. They'd post notes on the doors and I'd stand there for long minutes trying to decipher them. No one stopped to help. But that was ok.

I know that Germans can be slow to warm up. That's ok too. I get it.

So, this whole year Elise and I have been going through this experience doing our best. And then the week before Elise birthday party just last month a woman I've seen the entire year looked at me and asked me a question, in very clear English, about the party. So, after nine months, I learn that she has lived in England and speaks excellent English. At Elise' party, I meet a father who also speaks absolutely beautiful English and he speaks in English the entire time, quite cheerfully too.

Two weeks ago at the Schutzenfest, this tall father speaks to me at first auf Deutch, then says one sentence in English before switching back to German. I was shocked. Had no idea. Before it was just an occasional "hallo."

And today. Oh today. Today was like a slap in the face. Really. I'd come to the realization last week that probably one of the key factors in Elise' experience was my experience. That school wasn't just school, but a community and a circle of friends. At the International Preschool where English is the predominant language, even with the Italians, it is easier to make those friendships not only with the children, but with the mothers. We all live in separate villages, but we can get together outside of school and our children can nurture those friendships. Elise has needed that here too. She's wanted that. But as much as I've tried, I've been an outsider and haven't been able to connect with the mother's there. We've been cordial, but not enough to allow for play times or social events outside of school - and we're all neighbors. So I've felt bad. Felt like I failed Elise a little because I wasn't able to hold up my end of it. Wasn't able to connect enough to make those connections for her.

So, with all that - to pick up Elise today and hear all these mothers in their sweetest voices tell me IN ENGLISH how sorry they are to see Elise go just killed me. NOW??? Now is too late. We needed the warmth a couple months ago. And I needed to hear English - just a little - a couple months ago. If they couldn't speak it, fine. But when they can? Even a little helps.

And today at the birthday party, the tall father who'd muttered only a sentence before walks over and begins a full conversation in English almost without accent. And a woman walks up and joins in and we are all standing there speaking together. And they are friendly and warm. And we can communicate. And I'm thinking, why now? And why couldn't I have known sooner. Because I certainly didn't know them well enough relying on my pitiful German skills. And they certainly didn't know me. I was this ignorant sounding frau without a personality. How can you have a personality when you are stumbling over words?

And I asked this lady how her English was so perfect. "I work on the base, so I must speak English well." And so I asked her, "Why am I just learning that so many of you speak English?" And she replied, "Well, if we speak English to you, then how are you going to learn German?"

And I felt winded. Like she'd just punched me - hard. So they've listened to me struggle the entire year understanding and not saying anything - not even once - to help.

I am not an American who doesn't try. I'm not one who moves here expecting American and expecting people to speak English to me. I do try. But, I speak Spanish. A third language is hard. And, I have four children. The time for classes and study is nonexistent. But they don't know that because they don't know me. They've just decided with no information that I somehow need to learn and by not helping me at all, that they are somehow helping me. Americans move so much - should we learn every language when we land? No. Please, thank you, numbers... the things we need. That is reasonable.

So, this birthday party after 10 months of school was the first non-school thing that Elise has been invited to and we were happy to go. It was at the Hay Hotel and Elise had a fantastic time playing games on the playground, feeding a baby cow, seeing bunnies, and playing in the hay. She loved every minute of it and I'm sad for her that this is over. She will miss her friends and she will miss the German school, but I know that we've made the right decision. Next year she'll go to the International Preschool where she'll learn her letters and numbers, where she'll be prepared for an American kindergarten class, and where I can communicate with the parents and she can play with her friends.

I was editing a Lisbon entry on my other blog... but got distracted.

I think it's safe to say that Germany won. The air horn started up about 15 minutes ago followed by a few screaming teenagers yelling as they walked down the street. Now we have a parade of vehicles traveling in both directions blaring their horns (hand firmly pressed onto horn without release), driving with large German flags waving jubilantly from the open car windows and arms waving just as exuberantly from windows and convertible roofs, emergency lights blinking on and off, and one with the side doors of the car open clearly revealing the boys sitting inside with their open beer bottles in hand. How drunk do you have to be to 1) forget to close the door of your van, 2) not realize that it's open as you're driving down the B56 at non-legal speeds, and 3) don't really care that you're sitting next to a huge gaping hole in the car. I saw the open bottle of beer in his hand. Was too astonished at the rest of it to notice if he was wearing his seat belt. Dangerous, no? That's gotta top the list of something strange today.

It's almost 11 - too dark for photos... otherwise, I'd be posting one of four bicyclists riding together... the leader wearing the German flag like a cape, and the three others with large German flags held high in their hands waving in the wind.

Ok, seriously... the horns, I can handle, but airhorn boy has GOT to stop. It's making me cranky. I am so thankful that I live surrounded by old people. I can hear a constant drone of drunken yelling in the distance. Grateful it's in the distance and Tinny isn't whooping it up next door.

Just when I think it's quiet... it all starts up again. We were warned by the Turkish Embassies that if Turkey won that the party would last a while. I think this one may last a bit too. There is, well, without going into it, a bit of tension between the Turkish and the Germans. After all, there are scads of Turkish living here and when a non-indigenous population reaches certain levels, there are tensions. So, this was the big game. Let's get out the venom on the field. Good place.

My girls thrown off by summer break, a sleepless sun, and a friend over (Hattie's parents went to see the game with friends), just fell asleep literally about 4 minutes before the noise started. Good thing or they'd still be sneaking out of bed for water. Ever notice that the sneakier a kid is trying to be, the noisier they walk? Anyway... back to Lisbon...

Oh... and P.S. I did see something kind of strange yesterday too! Well, may be not so strange as irritating. I was out all day, came home a little after 4 and noticed two amorous middle aged folks showing affection leaning against what I later found out was the girl's vehicle. I stood and chatted with my friend for a long time. The couple stayed there, uh, um, enjoying each other's company. My friend didn't want to go to the bank there because she'd have to walk by them. Well... I didn't stand at my window all evening, but at 8:20 (a full 4 hours after I first saw them), I walked into my office and there they were STILL at her car in the same exact location, STILL not wanting to say goodbye - or to get a room for that matter. So the strange: 1) They weren't teenagers. One was quite gray haired. They both looked late 30's to mid+ 40's. (I'm not saying that teenagers are the only ones who can be amorous, but am just saying that I would expect the lack of control and indescretion from a younger crowd) 2)They weren't in a quiet area. They were leaning on the street side of the car right on a main road and next to a very busy ATM/banking facility and 3) They were there for at least FOUR HOURS!!! Really, my feet would hurt by then. And they both had cars! They could have sat down. Odd.